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As with all my stories these are truthful recollections of things past, except for the ones which are fantasies (lol) – you choose which you think they are!

Names are real in the hope that the people involved will read about themselves and get in touch, (except where because of reasons that should be obvious, it could cause the person to be put in an embarrassing situation)

If you enjoy them please give them the thumbs up; if you really like them please comment and if you REALLY like them mail me and I’ll tell you more than I can put here! And if you recognise yourself – get in touch

I’ve seen some videos on here where someone is having a wank and ‘unsuspectingly’ in walks a maid. Obvioulsy in hope that she will recoil in horror and then be overtaken with desire and jump on the ‘caught out’ wanker and fuck his brains out!

Well long, long before there were camcorders I engaged in something similar, and what follows is a brief history of those times.

I was working away, part of a team of builders, carrying out refurbishments of offices. Sometimes these would take weeks and sometimes just days.

Obviously this meant staying at motels or better B&B’s. I preferred the B&B as usually it was cheaper and you never knew what might happen – yeah right!

A fellow worker used to tell us that he’d gotten a quick fuck on a few occasions by being ‘caught out’ in the act of wanking. The landlady would bring in towels – coffee – what ever and he’d be knocking out one over a porno mag.

None of us ever believed him, but there was always a seed of doubt.

So one time I thought why not, you never know. I mean I always had a copy of Fiesta or e****t, and I usually did have a wank at least once a day, so why not.

My first victim was a lovely middle-aged woman in Bristol. I’d been there for 2 nights already and I asked if she’d mind me having new towels. She was all but too happy to keep her guest happy. So I lay on the bed totally naked, mag open and cock in hand. I’d read the entire mag before I heard her coming up the stairs. My heart raced away with a mixture of panic and excitement. As she knocked on the door I almost asked her to come in. That was totally wrong. She was supposed to catch me by accident!

So I said nothing and she knocked again. Probably thinking I’d gone out she twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open. I had chosen the best picture to wank to. Lying on the bed, completely naked, holding the base of my erect cock hard so it pointed to the ceiling I waited, ready to be ravaged.

Then as the door opened blind panic ripped through me. What was I doing? OMG this could go so wrong. She entered the room, towels clutched to her chest, and I just squeaked, grabbed the duvet and pulled it over me! Completely over me! Covering me completely!

She just said, “towels” and I heard the door shut. For a few moments I lay under the duvet, scared to see if she was stood in the doorway or had left the room. She had in fact left the room.

As my panic level subsided slightly I just knew I was flushed with embarrassment, shame almost. I’d never been caught wanking like that since I was a teen and my mam caught me one morning.

My panic level increased when I couldn’t find my porno mag. Had she taken it? No, when I grab up the duvet and threw it over me to hide I had dropped the mag right there in front of her on the bed!

The next morning I didn’t come down for breakfast and left quickly. And that evening I said I was checking out, She in all fairness never mentioned anything, asked if I had a nice time and took my money.

After my failure I thought better of this harebrained scheme and didn’t enf***e myself on unsuspecting landladies. Well that was until Exeter.

I had no girlfriend and was bursting in the sperm sack. I didn’t have to be on site till noon so I had a lie in, (this was pre daytime telly and certainly pre porn channel).

I’d recently found out the fun you can have with a latex glove and some socks and a rubbed band. Having a wank this way took a lot longer than the usual five finger shuffle, and was better, so seeing as I had plenty of time I thought why not.

I’d made a lovely pocket and was stood over a gorgeous picture of a firm breasted, full bush housewife, imagining what it would be like to giving to her what I was to my sock pocket.

I was so focused on my pleasure I honestly didn’t’ hear the door. There certainly wasn’t a nock, and as the door opened I just looked over my shoulder and saw the landlady there, with a bucket. It was the bucket that made me stop and turn around. What was in the bucket? Cleaning products it seemed!

So now I stood there, with my sock love pocket encompassing my cock and in front of me the landlady. How long we stood there I can’t say, seconds probably, but it felt like ages. She just stepped back and closed the door.

Being caught like this just made it even more exciting and I wanked off hard into my sock pocket. It was one of the most memorable wanks in my life.

That evening, coming back from work she said nothing, and nothing the next morning at breakfast. This was no doubt due to other guests being there.

Flushed with this success I had another experience only one week later when I was working in Gloucester.

I’d left out my e****t mag on the bedside table and when I got back in the afternoon it had been moved. The thought of my landlady flicking though the pages was such a turn on. I wondered if she had fingered herself when she read the stories.

There was no en-suite in this B&B so I was in the shower and naturally thought to lock the door. But then again if I did that then no-one could come in by ‘accident’. So I stripped off, showered and was drying myself when I heard someone outside.

Excited by the chance of being caught again I gave my cock a few strokes to get a lazy lob on and stood facing the door. The door lock was no more than a bolt. So you’d know if someone was in there by pulling down on the handle and seeing if there was any resistance. No resistance meant it wasn’t locked.

My heart was racing as I saw the handle move down. It opened wide. I was there feet away from my landlady and she immediately looked at my semi erect cock. I pretended to be engrossed in drying my hair and before I could say anything she shrieked and screamed out ‘sorry’ and left.

The next morning at breakfast she apologised profusely, even gave me a bigger breakfast and said that she’d be getting the lock on the door changed.

So by now my strike rate was 3 fails out of 3 ‘ caught’s ’

I had a few more attempts and the result was always the same, nothing doing.

Then I had to stay at a chain motel just out of Heathrow. A truly bland boring place. I couldn’t care less in such a place and left out my porno mags and even a sock pocket. When I got back in the evening they had been put away for me.

I’d gone out for a night on the beer with some of the other guys, and came back worse for wear. We’d all agreed that we’d start late the next morning. And so it was that to date I had my best ever ‘catch’. The room was your standard motel layout with the bathroom corridor side, meaning there was a passage into the bed area.

So late the next morning I was propped up in bed, using a lubed up wank aid while flicking though a hard core mag. I certainly heard the nock and heard the rumble of a cart as the cleaner entered. As I thrust in and out of the wank aid the cleaner caught sight of me and jumped back mumbling she was sorry and made a hasty escape. Trouble was she’d left her cart.
She was a young looking Asian woman and no sooner than she ran out there was a nock again on the door. The nock became harder and louder and the door opened. From down the passage I heard her ask if she could get her cart.

I so wanted to ask her to take over from my wank aid. She shouted out again and a head popped out from behind the bathroom wall. I was still thrusting into my aid and we looked at each other. Now every other time I’d been ‘caught’ it lasted seconds. This woman watched me for at least three thrusts before she said, “I just need my cart please” and she steep in further to collect it. All the time she watched and rather than turn and as she pulled out the cart she continued to watch. She didn’t exactly linger but she certainly had a good look.

But it’s not always been good fun.

I was staying once in Southampton. The landlady there looked like she might be up for it. Wrong! When I manufactured a situation where she would come into my room and ‘catch’ me she went nuts. She screamed out and run off screaming downstairs. I mean she was so loud other guests came out of their rooms. Half hour later there was a knock on the bedroom door and there she stood with a bloke who I assumed was her husband. In her hand was a bill and she said I was to pack up my things and leave! I did!

Then I was staying in a B&B in Birmingham and left out an e****t mag. When I got home the mag was in the same place, which was a shame as it meant that no-one had looked at it, but when I looked in it all the women had their bits covered by a black felt tipped pen!

The following morning the landlady said to me over breakfast and in front of everyone, that those types of magazines demeaned women and I ought to be ashamed for buying one!

But probably the worse ever was when I was staying in Lincon and once again had manufactured a situation where the landlady would come in. Now I always made sure that it was just a landlady house and not a husband/wife setup. Well I’d gotten it completely wrong and in came her husband as I was almost cuming! Talk about instant deflation!

Of all the people who have ‘caught’ me he stayed the longest. “mate”, he said, “if you are going to be wanking one off lock the fucking door you Pillock” and as he left he took the towels with him, “and you are not using these either”!

I can say with all honesty I have never struck it lucky. I have had one or two instances where they, well let’s just say, lingered on their way out but not long enough to have anything develop. And there have been many where I am sure it’s not the first time that they have ‘caught’ someone as the “sorry” seemed well practised. And there have been some times where the poor victim was not pleased at all!

Above all else it certainly breaks the boredom of B&B’s

Updated: October 21, 2016 — 1:16 pm

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