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Job Posting for a New Lover (Satire)


Mistress Emma is a 49yo , SWF, 5’9″, 240lb, 42DD, BBW, uninhibited, sexually adventurous, dominant female who lives in the Portland, Oregon area.  By day she is a senior project manager for a large company, with a Master’s Degree who has travelled to 4 continents and over two dozen countries.  She doesn’t do d**gs, drink excessively, gamble or have financial problems.  To the outside world, she is a very responsible, respectable and productive member of society.  Her one vice is that she has a VERY, VERY dirty mind and loves sex.  Mistress Emma is a confident, skilled and generous lover who enjoys giving and receiving pleasure.  As a result, she is seeking two part time lovers who meet the below qualifications for regular sexual rendezvous.  Mistress Emma is not a promiscuous woman.  However, it takes 2 men to satisfy her huge sexual appetite.  She is looking for regular friends with benefits with two like-minded adventurous lovers.

There are two positions open at this time.  The first position is for Mistress Emma’s primary lover.  The candidate will have the primary responsibility of providing Mistress Emma with pleasure on a regular basis.  He will be well versed in the art of love-making including but not limited to pussy/ass licking, anal sex, finger-fucking, traditional sex and erotic massage.  He will be responsible for providing sexual pleasure on request at least once a week in a variety of locations including her home, his work, parks, public bathrooms, hotels and her car.  In addition, he will provide playful and naughty banter via phone, text or email throughout the week.  The ideal candidate will be able to aptly switch between dominant and submissive roles as Mistress Emma’s will demands.  He will be comfortable and confident participating in a bi-sexual MMF threesome should the opportunity present itself.  

The second position is as Mistress Emma’s submissive lover.  The requirements for this position are the same as her primary lover, except he will not be expected to play a dominant role in love making.  In addition to the primary lover’s responsibilities, the sub will be the recipient of Mistress Emma’s FemDom desires including, but not limited to, being fucked by strap-ons, dildos, face dildos, eating cream pies, giving her primary lover and herself oral sex, receiving anal sex from her primary lover and actively participating in MMF threesomes.  He will be submissive and obedient to both her and her primary lover.

All qualified applicants interested in applying should fill out the below Sexual Preferences Questionnaire by bolding Turn-Ons and underlining Turn-Offs and filling in your personal details.  Please send Mistress Emma a chat when you are ready for her to review your qualifications.  If you pass the initial screening, then Mistress Emma will begin chatting with you via xHamster private chat and then will set up a Web Cam interview if she feels you are a good match.  If you pass these screenings, then she will meet with you in person at a public place for you to demonstrate your pussy licking skills in either her car or a public bathroom.  If you pass the interview, you will be given her cell phone # and email so she can contact you to schedule regular mutually satisfying sexual encounters.

Regular pussy/ass licking
Erotic Massages
Finger fucking
Vaginal Sex
Anal Sex
Strap-On Sex
Sex Toy play
Public Sex

Disease free
Prefers to give pleasure rather than take it
Respectful towards women
No substance abuse problems
25 – 55 years old
Must prefer BBWs (large women)
Prefers women in their late 40s
Skilled Lover
Must love eating pussy
No erectile dis-function issues
Can meet regularly for sex on weekends
Dirty mind
Be able to travel within Oregon
Penis >= 6″

Athletic body
Loves giving rim jobs
Great kisser
Enjoys texting/talking on phone
Able to switch between Dom & Submissive roles
Enjoys giving erotic massages
Willing to have MMF threesomes

No c***dren, a****ls, bl**d, feces, vomit, v******e, disrespect, diseases, smoking, receiving pain, choking, hitting, giving rim jobs, fisting, facials, BJs before I’ve climaxed, pictures/video taking, condoms required.

First Name:
Home Town:
Cock Length:
Circumcised:  Y/N
Last STD Test Date: 
Special Sexual Skills:
Employment Status:
Marital Status:

SEXUAL PREFERENCES CHECKLIST: (Bold favorites, underline boundaries)

General Sex:

Giving Oral Sex to Men’s Genitals
Giving Oral Sex to Women’s Genitals
Receiving Oral Sex on Genitals
Giving Facials
Receiving Facials
Giving Rim Jobs
Receiving Rim Jobs
Performing Anal Sex on a Man
Performing Anal Sex on a Woman
Performing Anal Sex on a Transsexual/She-male
Receiving Anal Sex
Vaginal Sex
Fucking Others with Strap-ons
Being Fucked by Strap-ons
Fucking Others with Dildos/Objects
Being fucked by Dildos/Objects
Watching Someone Masturbate
Masturbating for Others
Watching Others Have Sex
Being Watched During Sex
Having Sex with Someone Much Younger
Having Sex with Someone Much Older
Giving Erotic Massage
Receiving Erotic Massage


Administering Pain
Receiving Pain
Giving CBT
Receiving CBT
Spanking Others
Being Spanked
Making Others Wear Restraints
Wearing Restraints
Humiliating Others
Being Humiliated
Using Others for Sex
Being Used for Sex
Urinating on Others
Being Urinated On
Sounding Others
Being Sounded
Giving JOI
Receiving JOI
Using a Cuckold
Being a Cuckold
Using a Slave
Being a Slave
Smothering Others
Being Smothered
Face Sitting
Receiving Face Sitting
Fisting Others
Being Fisted

Alternate Sex:[/b]

Sex with f****y Members
u******e Sex
Sex with a****ls
Furry/Pet Play
Drawing bl**d/puncturing
Extreme Pain
Gang Bangs

Updated: October 21, 2016 — 1:29 pm

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